... Now I'm going to talk about pessimism through the song by Biggie Smalls, "Suicidal Thoughts". Just like the title says, the lyrics of the song has to do with a phone call between Biggie and his friend Sean Combs (Puff Daddy). During the Phone call, Biggie contemplates suicide, before putting the gun to his head and ending his life. The top 2 images have to do with the lyrics to that song, while the bottom 3 images have to do with Biggie's thug life that could have led to his pessimism about his life. In the song, many things that Biggie says indicate that he has had enough of this life he has to live. Some quotes are, "I swear to god I just wanna slit my wrists and end this bullshit, throw the magnum to my head threaten to pull shit. And squeeze, until the bed's completely red, I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' Buddha head."(line 19-22) Biggie also touches on how he thinks that if he died; no one would miss him or care, saying, "All my life I've been considered as the worst, lying to my mother, even stealing out her purse. Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion, I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion. She don't even love me like she did when I was younger, suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger. I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes? Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies."(line 9-16) The source of his pessimism could be because he started rapping at such a young age, (Ready to Die, the name of the album the song was on, was released when he was 22) and because he didn't really have anyone to act as a role model (his Father left when he was two, and he dropped out of school at 17). The bottom images of Biggie holding a gun and of him smoking are just reminders of his past, which helped him right the music that later led to his death in the East side-West side rivalry. The lyrics in his song show that he didn't have the confidence that he could make it out of his troubled life, and even if he succeeded, no one really cared. It's safe to say even though he didn't kill himself in real life; his troubled past, and the apathy he felt from those around him, were too much to handle.
